Asking The "Why" Question

Hello all,
I want to thank each of you that attended dad's visitation and funeral on Tuesday and Wednesday. It was truly a remarkable occasion. While we are still saddened by the loss of dad, we were overwhelmed by the response of so many people coming out to help us remember dad and the effect he had on so many.

I was honored to be able to say a few words at dad's funeral on Wednesday and I spoke a little bit on a question that dad (and all of us) asked frequently during the past six months-- why? Why did this happen? While we can't know for certain what God had in mind by allowing this cancer to strike dad, I firmly believe that God had something specific in mind. With that, I'm posting below the words that I wrote out to help guide me in what I said on Wednesday. Please keep in mind-- these are not my words. I firmly believe that God delivered this message and he's simply used me as an instrument to speak it. Thanks again for attending and for your support. Here are the words I was able to deliver on Wednesday:

You know, my Dad was like a lot of people. He had his strengths. He had his faults. We’ve been very blessed during the past few days to hear about a lot of the ways that dad touched the lives of so many others. And that’s the essence of who my dad was during his time here on earth. But I wanted to talk with you about something that he struggled with mightily. Like a lot of us, dad never fully understood why God decided to allow this cancer in his life. He would often say to me—“Buddy, I just don’t understand why this happened.” You know, there’s really nothing good that you can say to a statement like that. I knew that. Dad knew it too.

A couple of weeks ago, Dad and I had a talk and we focused on the “why” question. Like usual, I didn’t have a response, but this time, God spoke up and he used me in that conversation. I asked Dad if he knew without a doubt where he was going after he died. He told me that he did because he believed that God loved him. I opened the Bible to John 14:6 and read it aloud to dad. I asked him if that’s what he believed—that Jesus truly was the way, the truth and the life and that no one could go to the Father except through Him. Dad said he did believe that with all of his heart. And we took time to pray and Dad let God know that. I told dad that I was glad to hear that, because I wasn’t leaving that evening until I heard that directly from him.

We both felt a little better after that, but the question still remained—why did God allow this to happen? At that point, we talked about Paul and how he asked God to remove the “thorn in his flesh” on three separate occasions and each time, God replied that “my grace is sufficient for you.” I said “Dad, if God’s grace was sufficient for Paul for something so difficult—and we don’t even know what it was—don’t you think that it is sufficient for you as well? And with a confident voice, dad said that he believed that it was.

But still, Dad asked “I thought God had great plans for my life. How can He let something like this happen?” At this point, I laughed out loud and said “Dad, don’t you realize? God has been doing something great through you at every step along the way in your life. From the beginning of time, He knew exactly when you would be born, and He knows the exact moment that you will die.” I said, “Dad, I can tell you that there’s no logical way that you should have survived the difficult circumstances of your childhood.” You see, dad’s father—my grandfather—died with my dad was 8 years old. But instead of allowing dad to wither on the vine, God led dad at every turn in his life—even when dad didn’t really know the Lord. He placed great influences in his life when he was a child. He allowed dad to graduate from high school and to move to Raleigh. He allowed dad to attend what is now Wake Tech to obtain a degree. He provided dad with a job. He led dad to meet my mom. He allowed them to have two children. He allowed dad to become a friend, a leader, a coach, a second father to many and someone that made everyone else feel better when he was around. He allowed dad to become a grandfather – and not just to my two children, but to my cousin’s children too. You see, God knew the plans that He had for dad at every turn. God’s grace was sufficient for dad from the very beginning of his life all the way up to the end. He used dad to influence so many people that I’d be willing to bet that each one of us has our own “Norm Story.”

So, when the cancer struck, we were all confused, hurt and angry. But God still knew what He was doing. He wanted to use dad in one more way. He wanted to show each of us how God loves us. He allowed a strong man and a strong Christian to be struck with an awful disease. But He allowed dad to stay hopeful and positive throughout. He allowed dad to maintain his concern for others above his own situation. He allowed dad to maintain—and even strengthen—his faith during difficult circumstances.

God told a story these past 6 months. I know, because He allowed me to write it. I’ve had my own struggles with God during the past 6 months, but God never abandoned me. He used my dad to help me understand that His grace is sufficient—for me. I know the Lord now—He walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death. And that’s the ultimate answer to the question—why did God allow this to happen? He allowed it to teach all of us about His love and His grace. I thank you for walking with us during the past several months. It has meant more than you will ever, truly know.